Saturday, December 1, 2012

Just Getting Emotional....

So, it's been almost 3 weeks since I stopped nursing Gavin.  He is doing SO well.  I am very proud of him.  It took about 5 days til he stopped having withdrawls and cryfests from me telling him that they went bye-bye...and 2 weeks for him to stop asking for it.  Every now and then, when he sees my chest, he points and gets excited.  I do have to wear a bathing suit in the tub when we bathe together lol. 

 I'm also very proud of myself.  I didn't know how hard this would be for me.  Yes, I am so happy to have my breasts back, and I'm sure my husband is happy too! haha. (had to say it!)...but emotionally, I am not happy about my decision.  I did set up a goal for myself, to nurse Gavin between 2-3 years old.  

Although, most of my nursing time was a beautiful thing, I did receive some hate for it...I didn't realize something so natural, and human would give me so much criticism!  It's the most beautiful and natural thing a mother can offer to her child!  But yes, I got criticized for it.  I was looked at by disgust from a few people, made fun of, and I was even told not to nurse in someones house because of it. (because he was almost 2, and this person thought that was ridiculous)...moving on!

 And the bond...wow, do I miss the bonding!  Yes, we do bond in other ways.  But breastfeeding was the one thing I could say only we could do!  Our special time.  

So yes...it's been almost 3 weeks...I was VERY emotional at first...then I became used to the idea that, ok, this is it...we're done!  Happy Face, but sad emotions.  And just out of the blue, I became sad all over again.  I told my husband just now, I wish I could go in there, wake him up, cuddle and nurse with him.  Ugh....I just want to cry.  I miss it so much! 

Sorry for the sobfest...just had to get that out!!



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